I was thinking about my square moon-pluto aspect in my chart recently and how much I agreed with how this aspect can be depicted as the devouring mother archetype. It's definitely indicative of a chain of toxic mother daughter relationships in the family because if you have this aspect, more than likely it's in your mother and your mother's mother's chart.
I finished this book that reminded me of this aspect recently called the "The Darkest Child", it's one of those literary works of merit that are too grim for most people to finish. I honestly don't like those books. At all. In fact, I try to avoid them but if I ever encountered one I would keep reading just to see if the main character got their happy ending. Do they ever get their happy ending? Some of them yes. Others don't. Did the main character in this book get their happy ending? Not quite, but I won't judge too much since the author didn't get to finish the sequel for me to tell, and may she rest in peace. I feel like the books that go with the latter are both inherently lazy and just plain old lazy. Sure, they expose the harsh realities in this world, and of course they present challenges much like the ones that we face where we feel like there's just no way out of it but we continue to push ourselves, to keep reading these chapters just to see if we'll ever make it. But usually when the opposite of what some us expected to happen, the ending just always seems to be lackluster, as if the author just ran out of inspiration besides putting MORE trauma porn in the book and decided to just end it all together and you're left feeling confused asking yourself "That's it? Where's the rest of the book?". That's why I just stick with science fiction/fantasy, because I understand humanity enough to the point where they books do not surprise me or give me anything new even though the reason why these books are created so gruesomely because they add "shock value" to the story, but it's like I can intuitively already know all of the tricks up their sleeve or maybe it all just hits too close to home like this book in particular, it was bound to be familiar, and culturally, I can kind of respect it.
I'd like to think of mothers like my own and Rozelle Quinn as this big huge snake. Although my mother wasn't as despicable, the two definitely share a certain kind of maliciousness, like other mothers, that tend to be diagnosed as a bipolar disorder. And that same malice is usually directed at their daughter(s).
With my moon, a symbol for motherhood and femininity, being afflicted by my Pluto, a symbol for chaos, destruction, and control, it feels like there's this conflictual privation with the feminine aspects of being a mother. When I really observe the role dynamics of the women in my family, I notice that they actually take on a lot more of a masculine approach, even if they're married. The men are still the providers however it's like they're overpowered in some way that makes them a lot more softer than their significant other. In the book, Rozelle Quinn being a single parent was heavily emphasized with her constant urge to discipline her children into having lower sensitivity, even if that means burning them to make sure that they get the idea. As much as the women in my family love traditionalism, they're always conditioned to get "thicker skin" when it comes to making compromises, even if those compromises are detrimental to themselves. It makes me think about how I would go out of my way to be a safe space for others but I rarely take the time to make sure that I'm a safe space for myself. I still have to tell myself that it's OK to cry but most of the time I still don't. I'm still trying to correct this mindset that crying is a weakness for me because growing up my mother took pleasure in making and seeing me cry, therefore I built this armor to make sure that I didn't give anyone the satisfaction of letting them know how much that they hurt me. But now, I'm working on breaking this armor down for myself.
Vulnerability has turned into a skill that's meant to be manipulated whenever, by whoever. Mothers like Rozelle Quinn and the women in my family tend to teach younger women that they don't have the right to any boundaries when it comes to their parents, in fact it's justified when mothers go out of their way to crush their daughter's self esteem and sense of independence, to take away their right to choose. It's ok for mothers like Rozelle Quinn to to pimp out their daughters, to beat on them whenever for whatever, for my mother to pin me down and choke me telling me how much she should've aborted me when I was only 11, to make them feel so unwanted but when they have the guts to run away from their mothers, the mothers emotionally manipulate them into staying once more in their toxic grasp and the daughters have no choice but to love them anyway, it's natural right?
It's "biological" and biblical for children to have this unconditional love for their parents, even if the parents aren't necessarily being a parent and it doesn't matter if you'll get the same back, it may even inspire you ways to make sure you never inflict the same hurt on your children, it may even drive you to make sure your daughters know what it's like to be loved and not just meant give love, to teach them the difference between being secure and a possession, the possibilities breaking this chain are endless, but for now, just sit still, don't even make a sound, as that big snake approaches to devour you, because they do eat their own you know.
